


i would kill to be with you, we can make it thunder

by Bohemienne



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 18:00:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17944466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bohemienne/pseuds/Bohemienne
Summary: He waits for Steve in dreams, in echoes.=====Some bullshit drabble brought to you by too much Gunship and too little sleep





	i would kill to be with you, we can make it thunder

He waits for him in dreams. In echoes.

Sometimes the way he used to be, when they first met, just a bundle of messy brown hair and skinned knees and a fierce loyalty that scared the other boys away. 

Sometimes the way Steve tries to remember him: blue-eyed and hopeful, hopeful despite the odds, that someday, he’d come home. That Steve would be there waiting for him in the mildewed room they once shared.

The other times are harder, when he’s a muddied, bloodied mess, curled up in the corner of a cage, every glance like a blow to the solar plexus. Like the countless blows he must’ve endured, at his handlers’ whims.

Or the machine who stood on the bridge, blank but for ten words coursing through his head.

And sometimes it’s the soft, sun-weathered man he found by the lake, his one arm cradled around a goat, straw still stuck to his hair where he’d been napping.

Straw Steve matted into that hair further, pushing him into damp earth and kissing, touching, caressing him like a relic to be worshiped, each offering of bared skin a communion wafer on Steve’s tongue.

He’s lightning and a bottomless sea, one where Steve wants to drown. He’s gasoline about to spark. He’s breezy promises exchanged in the shadows of a dance hall, Glenn Miller drowning out their words and glances, promises they both knew weren’t theirs to keep. But he’s always _alive_ , so goddamned alive, and that’s the part that breaks him all over again when he wakes.

But if there’s an echo, any sort of chance, any of the justice Steve clings to like he’s clung to all his life—then there has to be something more.

There has to be more than a fistful of ashes, a world overstuffed with emptiness. There are too many echoes for too little noise. There’s another half out there, just waiting to be stitched back to whole. There has to be.

Because that fucking asshole purple actuary miscalculated: right now, Steve’s only half alive.

**Author's Note:**

> [@LindsaySmithDC](http://twitter.com/LindsaySmithDC)


End file.
